Faith, Groanings, and Laughter

I woke this morning thinking how God has given me faith to get me through a really difficult season.  It  has been an excruciatingly difficult.  It’s hard to describe how hard I’ve worked and how much anxiety I’ve had.  There were days I used every drop of energy I had to “skim” the surface to get by.  Others who are in the same situation have suffered major health problems and been overridden with stress.  Almost everyone has broken down at one point or another and cried.  To make matters worse, we had to go on without letting anyone we are helping know we are struggling.  Looking back over the last 6 months, I realized God helped me to survive by giving me faith and laughter.  In the midst of all the anxiety, there were times when we stopped long enough to laugh about some silly thing that happened.  

I also realized this morning that August and September were “peak” months. Every day when I got up to go back I knew God would get me through it. I was so buried under I’m not sure I was even thinking clearly.  For at least ten to eleven hours every day for the last seven months I experienced panic because I knew I couldn’t possibly get everything done I needed to do.  I was surviving because I had a pattern set and I stayed in the groove of that pattern.  I believe Jesus was “carrying me” through each day. I’m not sure I realized it at the time, but looking back I can see it. The silly laughter helped. 

This week I finally started to “dig out” and I felt like I made headway.  

Yesterday was the first day in months that I was able relax and think clearly.

This advent season I’m grateful, really grateful that God carries us through even when we don’t ask or know He is there.  Romans 8:26 says, “…the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.” 

Especially during the peak months I remember sitting with God and saying, “help me” but I didn’t vocalize specific requests.  Clearly, the Spirit did that for me.  Clearly God brought the laughter.

Thank-you, God for giving faith; thank-you, Spirit for helping us IN our weakness; thank-you for praying FOR us, thank-you for laughter, Jesus…Amen