The Class

Several years ago I had a great idea.  Before I get to that, I need to give you some background that led up to my idea.  When I was 23 years old I lived in a suburban community, was married, and had a brand new baby girl.  I attended church nearby and I wanted to get to know other young women in the congregation so I joined a Bible Study group.  It was a great group of women and we hit it off really well.  It was a large class and one of the Pastor’s wives was the teacher.  I got to know a small group of women I sat with and we would sometimes go out after class so we could continue discussing the lesson. 

After I had been part of the class for a short time, that small group of women asked if I would consider starting a new class and being the teacher/facilitator.  They explained that this class had gotten pretty large and they wanted to start a new class with a smaller group so we would be able to discuss the lesson more.  In the current class, there wasn’t a lot of discussion because the class was so large.  After talking to God about it, I accepted.  I was pleased to have this new opportunity to serve.  My dad taught Sunday School for over 20 years and I talked with him about how to prepare.  I was really excited about it!

One evening shortly after that I got a call from the Pastor’s wife who taught the class.  She said she heard through the grapevine that I had taken over teaching responsibilities for a portion of the class and wanted me to know it was her class and it was not okay that I took some of the members to start a new class.  I tried to explain that I was asked to teach but she made it clear that I would not be teaching and the class because I was not going to split the class up.  After that she hung up.  

Wow.  What just happened here? I felt like I had been run over by a truck. I was hurt that I was blamed and hurt by the way I had been treated on the phone.  I talked to God about it and received comfort but also knew I had to forgive her.  Because our conversation on the phone was not a pleasant experience, I wasn’t sure what to do. Growing up, I learned from watching my dad that forgiveness is not an option.  He seemed to forgive so quickly and after talking to God he would go right on loving that person. 

After I talked to God more I had a great idea. I decided I needed to apologize face to face and ask her to forgive me for overstepping my bounds.  (Today I view that a little differently, but bear in mind I was 23 years old).

The next Sunday at church I found a moment when I could approach her and I asked her to forgive me and I asked if we could put this behind us.  I’ll never forget her reaction.  With fire in her eyes, she looked at me and said, “I do not forgive you. “ She went on to say that I had no right to steal part of her class and then she indicated it might be best if I didn’t return to the class.  Then she turned and walked off.  

Wait, did I just get fired from attending the class? 

I don’t think I’d ever felt worse in my life (up to that point). I cried for days and I talked to God over and over again about it.  I thought I was doing the right thing, so why did it turn out so badly?  Now I couldn’t even attend Bible Study.  I had been so excited about being part of this group…how did this happen? 

It took time, but I did forgive her.  I did not return to the class.

I had to learn that sometimes people don’t want to be forgiven because they don’t think they’ve done anything wrong.  Sometimes I have to forgive without their permission.  Through the years I have developed a tremendous amount of respect for people who forgive quickly and respond in love. 

I still think my great idea was a great idea. Today, I might be inclined to do the same thing, however, today after she said, “I do not forgive you”, my reply would be, “I still love you.” Depending on the situation I might be inclined to follow the pattern set by Jesus in Matthew 18:15-17.

I still have some learning to do in the forgiveness department. As they say, God's not finished with me yet. There are times when my pain gets in the way of being able to forgive quickly.  My human nature wants ‘fight or flight’.  Jesus IN me wants me to stay and love. When I grow up (LOL) I want to be more like Jesus who loved everyone in the midst of their hatred, in the midst of their turning from Him, AS he was being crucified by them.  I do so want to be more like Jesus.